Laughter. Joy. Peace. Abandonment of fear. Strong. Healthy. Peace. Visible excitement. Happy. Smiling. Bliss. Peace.
Swipe.
One thought. Mind altered. Pause. Thought processed like a credit card that doesn’t work but then pushes through. Face wrinkled. Eyes sway left to right searching for something positive to hold onto. Understanding settles in.
A whisper from a known enemy.
More thoughts come.
Panic arrives with a blow that takes your breath away. Chest tightens, heart pumps faster, and pools of sweat gather on palms. Breathe in. Breathe out. Don’t breathe. Can’t do that. Push through.
More whispers.
Can’t keep up. Drowning in sorrow. Overwhelming. Sadness mixed with hopelessness creates the perfect elixir of impenetrable doom. Breaking through seems like a far away dream. Panic intensifies to where I’m backed into a corner, a cage. Words surround me. Pinching the bridge of my nose with eyes squeezed tight, there’s no way out – to escape.
Visiting the thoughts over and over again becomes an obsession. Good thoughts peek through but the obsession of these accusatory thoughts overcome. Overcome is the word and I can’t overcome these thoughts.
All of a sudden, minutes turn into hours turn into days. The lows are at an all time high. The battle in my mind gives me a headache.
My lips have been sealed the whole time. Everything seems quiet on the outside but loud screams bounce around inside.
Suddenly, I speak.
Something stirs inside.
Truth.
The breath I craved.
I speak again, louder with more authority.
Gentleness from above lifts my crouched shoulders to a warrior stance.
Wait a minute…
I know who I am.
The lies that tried and took precious time didn’t prevail.
I know who I am.
The lies that took my peace without my permission, didn’t overcome.
I know who I am.
The lies that made me physically ill, didn’t drown me.
I know who I am.
I know who I am
I know who I am.
A child of the Most High.
A daughter of the King.
A precious gem.
I know who I am.
It’s not the end.